A heartfelt expression|Reason, season or a lifetime.

A while back I wrote about something I heard in a sermon about categorising your friends and even family members. It was like a on switch that  clicked in my mind and it was clear what I had to do. Now I have come at another "reason, season or lifetime" point. Why does friendships need to be so hard? Well, I suppose it is not meant to be and maybe we just complicate it ourselfs, but for me..it is HARD.

I think I did mention this before, but in 2010 I moved out of my parents house, not around the corner, not just a little way from them, no. I moved 1300km, give or take, to another province. I left my family and my friends, the people dear to my heart, in the Western Cape and came to the Free State then and now the North West Province. Looks like I don't do anything half. Hows that saying "Go big or go home".

I remember crying all the way and that was about a 14 hours drive. I would stop for a few seconds and then start again. I got the letter my parents wrote me and I would ball my eyes out. But I am getting ahead of myself now. If all goes well and I can find a job I will be back in Cape Town asap.

I went to Cape Town over a weekend to attend a wedding and that is where this whole season, reason, lifetime- thing hit me. I felt like a total stranger and just "another' person attending. I did not feel a part of anything any more. I always thought that we will always be friends the way we used to be, but it does not work like that. Distance makes a huge difference. 

I remember telling my dad everybody moved on. I was still stuck in 2010 and they are in 2014. And I don't think that the way I feel at the moment is only because of relationships that is no longer, but also a few other things. I just think that this is the biggest one I have to deal with. People move on and in a way I can not accept it because I believe with all relationships it is for a lifetime and I want to keep everyone as close as possible, but even for me it is a bit difficult sometimes.

I have been hurt in friendships so many times, but I always forgave. I believe in the good, but you come to a point where you just can't any more and I think this is it. It is time to accept things the way they are. Move on, move out and move forward.

As silly as this sounds I went onto google because google is my friend and I found this lovely poem about friendships. 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

This is an eye opener to me. I think we all believe that friendships are made to last forever and we are right, but very few. I just think, that I hoped that even with distance all will be OK, but sometimes you are just not on the same page.

I will mourn over the friendships lost, but I will make new friends. And I am sure people will hurt me, but that is the way. I think I must just remember this and carry it close to my heart.

This was a very deep session and I know it is not happy as always. But I needed to write this down and get it out of my system. Next week will be happier. I do have some cool stuff to share with you.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate your time.

speak to you soon...or sooner! xoxo